Where’s your gift?

Where’s your Valentines day card?

Where’s your candy?

"Where are your sandals? where's your capri pants bruthaaaa?" (source: Adult Swim)
“Where are your sandals? where’s your capri pants bruthaaaa?” (source: Adult Swim)

Oh… you waited until the last minute and have NO idea what to get for her tomorrow?

It’s all good, We got you!


Dr. Nicole 

Side chick: White rose, 50 off candy, groupon massage certificate, buy one get one free meal, regifted xmas present, something wifey didn’t want and you forgot to return, trip to the mall, Mrs. Fields heart cookie from the mall,

Dating but not serious: free tickets won off the radio, anything Tyler Perry or Kevin Hart, romantic comedy but nothing that either person would cry, chain restaurant like Olive garden, ice skating, bowling, desserts
Sent from my iPhone

Dating and serious: weekend getaway with at least an hour away, elegant restaurant, clothes, love/sex coupon book, paying a bill like a cell phone (or my student loan bill), surprise lunch at work, surprise head ANYWHERE, and lastly a sex swing!


Fellas I got you…

Side Chick: ON V-day she gets nothing… why? Valentines day should be spent with the woman most important to you and the most amount of money/effort should be put there. so ON V-Day if you have a side chick she gets a big steamy bowl of nothing with a side of excuses.

Eat up!
Eat up!


The genius part of this is that Walgreens and several other stores mark all of their spare V day stuff down to 50 percent off or more AFTER V-Day. So in the FOLLOWING day(s) THAT is when the side chick should get whatever it is that you have to give her AND it won’t cost you an arm and a leg either. So get her all of the left over candy, stale food and hearty D that a side chick deserves.

Dating but not YET serious:  The key here is to help your situation together build. It all really depends on the impression you’re trying to give off to the person etc however, Quality time is the pretty important. I’m a big fan of the old school stuff in these situations, Movies inexpensive gifts, maybe a nice trip to dave and busters to have fun or something. For NOT YET serious I’ve always done ONE rose or something with the promise that the day we reach one dozen of them! Keep it simple just keep it fun! 

Dating and Serious/Relationship: Hopefully you know the person enough to know something personal to add to the festivities however if not I got you. You don’t have a lot of time so you need to google the nearest florist and maybe get a small bouquet of her favorite flowers. Typically I’d tell you to have them delivered however getting them delivered by tomorrow is difficult and expensive SO… pick them up. If you don’t know her favorite just stick with roses.

Tip: To keep them fresh overnight, trim the stems under cold water at a slant like this // put them in a vase with water and some 7-up. If you don’t have 7-up I’ve heared one coated asprin tab in water works as well but I haven’t tried that.

I’m a fan of the classics Big Dumb ass teddy bears etc etc.

.... uhm... not that kind of bear...
…. uhm… not that kind of bear…


Another idea, contact the nearest Spa that does massage also and see if anyone has any openings for tomorrow.

Since Valentines day this year is on a weekend you can take her to a comedy show (dope because there is laughter and there is also liquor and food. When all is said and done take her back to the house… go ahead and uh …”Eat the box”

(if you get this reference you get 500 points)
(if you get this reference you get 500 points)

Because even if you’re too broke to do anything else, if you’re good at THAT, and put some time in, she’ll usually love it!

I have more ideas but they require more time and some are my own secrets! Have fun, and wear condoms!


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